Tuesday, September 29, 2009

So, Here I am......Sniffing.........

Lavender...(gotcha!), and sipping on a cup of Chamomile Tea...trying to calm down, and reduce that nasty ol' tightness in my muscles......and boy, do I look pathetic, if I do say so myself, and I do!

Night before last I woke up about 2:00am, with a horribly tight chest. So I laid there a bit, barely awake, trying to separate all the pains and aches....now, bear in mind...I truly was barely awake. After separating everything, I decided that I must be fine, as my left arm didn't hurt or go numb. Now, as soon as I reasoned that out....my left arm started tingling. I laid there a bit longer, and decided that the arm was waking up.....I must have laid on it wrong. I took another deep breath, and decided that if I was having a heart attack, I didn't particularly care, and settled down to go to sleep again. A couple minutes later, I knew I had to hit the bathroom, and no heart attack could stop that...so I dragged myself out of bed, down the hall, and into the bathroom. After that, I decided I was thirsty, so I shuffled to the kitchen, got a drink, and then went back to bed. By then the chest had loosened, and I dropped right back to sleep. I woke up, feeling fine, but with tired muscles in my chest. Yesterday, I was tired, and achy, but no more chest pain. I mentioned it to Max and he about had a heart attack, but I assured him it was NOT a heart attack. Last night, went to bed, and slept the night through. Then within about 3 hours of waking up, here came that nasty ol' tightness again. So, I called the Dr., and had to leave a message as no one answered the phone. Jackie called back right away, and wanted to know WHAT was wrong....the message that I had left was that "I have a spot that needs to go, and I hadn't been feeling too sharp lately". Turns out I had never called and said that I hadn't been feeling well....so, it struck alarm bells with Jackie....(I used to talk to her daily, when I was in Radiolgy). The Dr. was gone, and so Jackie told me that the Triage Nurse would call me right back....and she did. Tina called, (I used to work with her too) and asked what was going on...so we had a lovely, long talk. I told her not much, then said that the trip had ended right after it started, and then, with a little (actually, very little) prompting, the last two months unfurled, and...well.....wow......I was and am stressed. So, I have a dr. appt for the 12th.....if I have any more 'episodes', I am to go right in...and I needed to 'calm down'. So, I asked, "any ideas on that calming down thing?" "Chamomile Tea before bed, and maybe some lavender by the pillow". HELLLLOOO.....I am the Homeopathic person in the family. What do I tell everyone? Chamomile and Lavender Tea, and a sachet in your pillow or next to the bed.....and "Turn It Over To God"....."Share with a friend", what was I thinking? Oh, obviously NOT thinking!! And the second I stuck a Lavender Dryer Bag under my nose.....ahhhhhh...tightness gone......

Now, I just have to "Turn It Over", and "Share with a friend"....and I consider you all "friends", so I am sharing this with you.....

Our Family has had lots of "happenings" lately. Without hauling it all out, and stressing myself more......

Our Christy, had a Bi-lateral Mastectomy a week ago. It was her choice, and a wise one. But, my heart still cries for her.

Our Lauren.....and the whole family....are facing terrible stresses right now...our Lauren is about to have her world ripped apart...she will be meeting a Birth Father, that she didn't know about. She is 5. (He didn't want her, and has wanted nothing to do with her, but now.....it's a bloody mess). Along with her, Brad and Livvie, who are trying to keep it all together, and pay for all the lawyers, and keep the family as "normal" as possible. Brad is her "Daddy", (he's had her her whole life), and that will never change, and she will know that, but in the meantime......

Brandi and I spent the last two months planning our trip....that is what has held me together the last few months, whenever I would hit "overload", I would think about the trip South, and things would calm down for a bit. It was my safety net this Summer and Fall.

And there is more.......and, we are not the only family that are dealing with bad things right now, and so many more families are worse off.....and my thoughts go to them.....

Life will settle down, and things will be fine.....and me falling apart will certainly NOT help! Whew!!! Thanks for listening! I promise to not post like this again!!! Well, not for a long time, anyway!!

6 comments:

Donna said...

You got a full plate going on there! ~Oooohm~ Throw a little chanting in there too! Hope the doctor can figure out what's wrong!

Karen/My Colonial Home said...

Jan, I am so praying for you and your family.
Life isn't fair sometimes is it.
I do like your outlook though and it seems it will carry you through.

Karen

Jan said...

Donna....I hadn't thought about chanting...good idea!!

Jan said...

Karen, Thankyou! Prayers are so appreciated. I know that God has a plan....I just want to help! Need to step back and let him work.

Gettysburg Homestead said...

You sure do have a lot going on in your life. I have been there and have with the help of God and others gotten through it. I have learned take one day at a time. Set short goals and don't worry about what is going to happen down the road. Everything will work out have faith.

Mary

Jan said...

Thanks, Mary! I have been thinking about you....and smiling for you! I am so glad that you are happy! You have so earned it! And you are right...one day at a time...one foot in front of the other!